Friday, May 8, 2015

Bilingual home with countless "Autism" Rules broken

As I looked at my "love tribute" to Mark that I made for one of our wedding anniversaries, I realized we could not have a "neuro-typical" proper life.  It was predestined to have it all other way around, as we have always been the crazy kids on the block. Although I grew up in reserved Poland with Catholic background and Mark in good ole' South, USA in a Baptist community, we could never fit the little square boxes of conventions. I was a rebel since my early childhood, raised in a socialist "Polish People's Republic", where sharing your faith and believes in public could cost you your job, prison or even death in some extreme cases.   I was only a few years old and was proud to tell other kids about the love of Jesus, sharing all Bible stories I've heard in my "religion" classes. Especially sharing them with my friend who was a daughter of the biggest communist in militia back home. I had no fear (or understanding of the consequences), so I was teaching her all things I've learned - like the model prayer, all about the angels and heaven and what God did for us because of His love... She then asked her parents if she could start attending my religion classes.  Oopsie daisy :) Yup, I caused some trouble every now and then. I could never sit still and watch TV, like my kids can nowadays... Partly because "kids' programs" were not available 24/7. We had like 2-3  channels and kids could watch cartoons on Saturday and Sunday morning till 10-ish and then "goodnight" story for 20 min after evening news section. And that was it! So, like most of you, I spent my days outdoors. I found it easier to play with boys rather than other girls. I always loved climbing the trees, playing cards, not so much playing football, but doing all other things that were far more fascinating than changing clothes of our dollies and playing tea parties... As a teenager I was the one "saving" my class from big tests by acting in a really dramatic way (and yet very believable) acute appendicitis and other medical emergencies :) May God have mercy on me haha. School nurse got to know me well by the end of my school years. But I also went to hospital and was willing to go through all kinds of nasty and really uncomfortable procedures just to avoid going to music school (my violin lessons)... So yes, not an average Joe. Mark had similar character and knew he had to do more than what was offered to him in his community. He came with his parents, who were missionaries to Cyprus, as a young boy and practically grew up in here, surrounded by multinational culture. He never had problems making friends and, like me, he wanted to share the gospel with anyone coming his way - always with a great sense of humor. I remember the story he shared when his best friend came to his house for a meal. Mom cooked some delicious food and everyone ate with good appetite. Then when Mom left with all the dishes, Mark said very loud "this is so rude of you! Why would you say that my Mom's food is horrible?! I can't believe you". Poor guy turned red and was ready to strangle Mark with his bare hands. :) Although we were raised in two completely different environments, we were so alike. And then when we finally met, we knew from the beginning that was IT :)
To cut the story short (finally!!!)
We fell in love, got married twice (to each other!) and then stork flew over our house and dropped our Mikey first and then 3.5 years later his baby sister.  We're a Polish - American family living in Cyprus, having great friends from Israel, Lebanon, Russia, Cyprus, Greece, Romania, Austria, Philippines, UK, Sri Lanka, Holland, Germany etc.... We're truly blessed. And so as a young mommy, I was talking to my baby boy both in Polish and English, until I went to work when Michael was one. Then it was more difficult as I didn't have much time with him. One and a half year after that we had first ASD diagnosis and suggestion from pediatrician to limit communication language to just English :( It hurt me (and still hurts) that my language was put on the side track as less important. I know if we were living in Poland it would be different, as we'd be surrounded by this language. In Cyprus official language is Greek (but of course! - "give me any word, ANY WORD! and I will prove that its root is in Greek!" - quoting from the movie "My Big Fat Greek Wedding"). All doctors are Cypriots, public schools are Greek language based. We had a big problem. There were even some suggestions that we should learn Greek and speak in Greek at home, so that Mikey could go to public (free of charge) school one day and to know Greek by default. Sounds crazy now but back then we were considering all options. We found private English kindergarten and then school, so problem was solved (although a very costly solution to language dilemma). Funny enough, Mikey shows great interest in foreign languages. He loves the sound of Chinese, Hebrew, Arabic, Greek and Dutch. At school he's writing his name in Greek alphabet as if it was no biggy... This boy is full of surprises, no doubt!
Bilingual parents, multinational friends at school and in church, Polish grandparents who took an effort (in their mature age!) and studied English for several years, in order to communicate with their "foreign" grandkids (sigh)....
Psychologists and all the smart medical professionals seem to be on the same page regarding limiting communication language to just one (English). The same rule applies to calling Michael by his name, not to confuse him. Ha! Now that would be easy if we were "normal" parents obeying instructions coming from professionals. As the natural born rebels without a cause we cannot conform ourselves into small boxes of conventions :) We both make up words and nicknames for all the members of our family. It's impossible to just have one name and one nick. So our poor boy on the spectrum knows (and likes) all his nicknames. And, what puzzles the medical world, responds to most of them :) In my craziness, I tend to forget that when picking up kids from school, I should call their given names. And then I see surprised faces of other parents when I call my kids by their nicks... Some of them are really bizarre:
Booba Boobela - female form of the original name Booboo (origin: Yogi and Booboo Bear)
Sillina - combo of the English word "silly" and Polish ending of female names "na"
Grumpelstinsky - nick for Daddy Bear ;) I don't think it requires further elaboration ("-sky" is a typical surname ending of Polish Americans immigrants)
Floopy doopy doo with occasional moderation of Floopidy Floop Floop and Flopster
Dziumbellina (pronounced: joom-bellina) -  no real meaning but sounds cool
Frompiduria - again, totally made up word
Occasionally we throw some random Greek words like "glikaniso" (γλυκάνισο) which means aniseed. I know! Couldn't get more ridiculous :)

To sum up - there's this magical beauty in our multinational existence and bilingual family with crazy made up dictionary that keeps our Autism reality that much sweeter. Since we cannot change circumstances, we can and we most definitely will change conventions and words we use.

What's the recipe for happiness in our crazy household?
1 American stud
1 Polish female rebel
2 Polish- American kids
handful of humor
1 tsp of seriousness
10Tbsp of craziness
pinch of sadness and trials
a whole lot of Autism
and all marinated and cooked in pure organic faith

That would be all, folks! Stay tuned and send me some comments ;)
Love and kisses...
God bless each and every one of you

No comments:

Post a Comment