I was in a need of a decent laptop to write down my very complex life story. I didn't know any companies specializing in these products, so I asked my manager and a good friend, if she could recommend any, since her laptop was first class. She then found some leaflet and handed it to me saying it's a solid distributor (and American!), so I should be able to find something decent, meeting my expectations. Little did she know, a year after that purchase inquiry, I would be marrying my sales person :) Yup, Mark showed up with my laptop and neither of us talked much about computer's specs, but rather our interests, like and dislikes etc... Mhm, I got a special deal: "buy one, get one free" haha. I bought a laptop and agreed to be asked out on a date to T.G.I. Friday's. Obviously I had to very carefully choose my meal there, as I didn't want to eat something heavy or causing any gastrointestinal issues. Duh! The best choice was a very safe, or so I thought, chicken salad. To be honest, I don't remember much from that date, and it's not because I was under influence of any sort of substances, although I was under a spell of a tall, handsome American dude... All I remember was "parsley"!!! As we got our food, we were being all sweet and charming, eating tiny bites, chewing carefully, laughing a lot, sharing things about each other... and of course, what's the number one thing that attracts the opposite sex? Smile! But of course! I could not stop smiling, and was really fluttered that Mark seemed to notice it. But after a while of his eyes fixated on my lips, I felt a little uncomfortable. Mind that it was our first date "out" (our first first date was when he invited me to his church!). He smiled and looked me in the eyes, and said these famous words that caused permanent "amnesia" in my mind :) "Ula, although we've just met and don't really know each other that well, I believe you would appreciate the honesty and me saying what I want to say without any circling around the subject"... I blushed and thought "man! this guy is a real macho! here comes cliche 'I LOVE YOU'. Just say it and let's get it over with!". And he did! Well, not quite these words. It was more of: "You have a massive piece of parsley on your tooth. If it was me, I would also appreciate your honesty to spare the embarrassment for me". As you can imagine, I wanted to be swallowed by the ground or become invisible. My tomato red face and I asked to be excused. I walked really fast to the restroom and looked for the windows, to escape that hall of shame :) Typically, no windows available, therefore I had to get back to my seat with crumbles of dignity I had left. I honestly cannot recall that evening's conversation. The only word still ringing in my head is PARSLEY... Oh well... We agreed to forget about any leafy vegetables when we were eating out.
I knew from that day that he is the one for me. OK, and he knew too much about me AND saw my defiled smile. He could either marry me or go missing in unexplained circumstances... I'm still happily married :)
I remember having a really bad day at work, feeling hormonal and snappy when Mark asked me out to dinner. Mind that because of the medication I was on back then, I developed a tremendous lack of confidence. I didn't want to go to public places where there were many people, as I felt they were all looking at me and probably mocking (all in my head!). Mark was brave enough and didn't get discouraged by my behaviors. We ordered some Mexican food and as we were about to eat, he stood up and went to the car saying he had to make a call! I felt like Daniel in a lion's den :) Of course that put me in an even worse mood. When he came back all weird and absentminded, I immediately asked to leave. I had had enough! So he respected my wish and promised to take me to my place. I noticed he took the wrong exit and drove towards the sea and ancient city of Amathunda. In my sick brain, I figured he did it on purpose to get me more upset, as a payback for ruined dinner. As he stopped the car, the moon reflecting beautifully in the water, gentle breeze outside and not a living soul around, I gave him "the look". If eyes could kill, Mark would be "no more" :) I had no clue what he was up to. There he was, all romantic, trying to pick up the pieces of a disastrous date and his girl resembling an ancient dragon, with nostrils like butterfly wings, grinding her teeth, making her rather full lips practically disappear in tight gin ... If I was a guy, I would run like Speedy Gonzales, while there was still time :) You can imagine, it was not an easy setting for a gentleman...
I know, I was a terrible creature. But I blame it on my meds ;)
So now, after this reminiscing, you can better understand why our kids are the way they are :) They simply have no choice having us as their parents, right?
Now on a serious note, it is really important that parents of a special needs child will keep their romance alive. Actually, it applies to all parents. In a rush of daily work, stress and kids, we tend to forget about Love (purposely spelled with capital "L"). Statistics are brutal. 3 out of 4 marriages with kids on the Autism spectrum end up in divorce and father leaving home. It breaks my heart. Every child desires to grow up in a complete family with loving parents who show, through their own example, what Love really is. Are we a perfect couple that never argues or have different opinions on things? Absolutely not! But we do work on our marriage and our secret is "Love God before anyone else and keep Him a central Person in your home". It works!
Have a fantastic day and never jump to conclusions before you hear the whole sentence ;)
Love and peace
Till next time...
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